As i start the next chapter of life, running around between job applications, job interviews, school admission for son etc etc etc ..list goes on , u know right..
I wait in the school for hours on many days, i see many parents waiting and then i get to here few conversations , but the subject was always the same…
Scene : 3 ladies sitting on adjacent chairs ,waiting ,and then take turns to visit the headmistress , come back and wait outside so all of them can discuss again..
What i got to know was their kids were in high school , and whether to continue with ICSC or change to state syllabus was the conversation about:
Lady 1: I am so confused. I am not able to sleep at night.I am not able to decide what to do. I think i will take 1 more day time and then come back with firm mind.
Lady 2 : Me too. I think i will wait for 1 more year and then decide after analyzing the marks next year.
Lady 1 : I have brought the fees also in my bag.. but i cant decide
Lay 3 : Just shakes her head in agreement.
Lady 2 : What does ur son think?
Lady 1 : He says he wants to continue but we need to think and make decision . We cant listen to them.
Lady 2 to lady 1: Do one thing. Put a black dot on the mirror and look at it for few mins, u will feel relaxed, then with a calm mind u can decide.
The scene continued for few minutes.
Then they sigh and leave.
I felt this is the new trend everywhere, parents are so tensed about their kids education, what they study, what they score, tutions etc etc ??
So much of stress..
It was not like this before atleast not in my house and many houses i knew.. All our parents knew was the school name and the class we studied in ( cant expect dads to know the section ). We went and enquired about the tutions if we wanted to join .We decided to which colleges we applied for PUC. We went and got the admission done.
The choices were ours. Ofcourse they guided us but they let us take decisions or atleast involved us in decision making.
I think its very important that we involve our kids in decision making or atleast take their opinions into account. It brings a sense of confidence , ability to face and handle situations and take responsibility of the decisions.
But remember if u do it just for the sake of it , they will figure it out soon. Trust me they are far more smarter than us.
I am sure we all think , we will not interfere after 10th, then +2 , then professional course and the branch..we keep deciding and it becomes an habit. By that time, they become dependent.
I am sure all of us have good concerns and intentions both in mind and heart ,but believe me it will alter the thought process of kids.
What i have seen and experienced is, all these marks really dont matter much at all. I have seen toppers fail in life, and the mediocores raise and be the boss.
We definitely need to show them the doors, guide them, encourage and boost them, rarely may have to push them too.
But lets not forget there are other things as well which really count more.
Its ultimately how u deal with circumstances, how u can use the opportunity in front of u, how much risk u are ready to take is all that matters.
If we equip our kids with these, i think sky will be the limit.
Lets make them better people who can cope with reality and live a life of their own.
PS : I put that scenerio here only because thats what started my thought process, rather scared me. Will i too fall into this mass/ herd mentality ?? Will i have to take so much stress ,which i didnt take, even when i did my post graduation? Will this competitive world ask me to sacrifice my mental peace??
I am not trying to judge anybody or make assumptions because all parents want the best for their kids.
But are we going too far??
However only time can answer these questions
Hope all kids get all that they deserve..