Are we going too far??

As i start the next chapter of life, running around between job applications, job interviews, school admission for son etc etc etc ..list goes on , u know right..

I wait in the school for hours on many days, i see many parents waiting and then i get to here few conversations , but the subject was always the same…

Scene : 3 ladies sitting on adjacent chairs ,waiting ,and then take turns to visit the headmistress , come back and wait outside so all of them can discuss again..

What i got to know was their kids were in high school , and whether to continue with ICSC or change to state syllabus was the conversation about:

Lady 1: I am so confused. I am  not able to sleep at night.I am not able to decide what to do. I think i will take 1 more day time and then come back with firm mind.

Lady 2 : Me too. I think i will wait for 1 more year and then decide after analyzing the marks next year.

Lady 1 : I have brought the fees also in my bag.. but i cant decide

Lay 3 : Just shakes her head in agreement.

Lady 2 : What does ur son think?

Lady 1 : He says he wants to continue but we need to think and make decision . We cant listen to them.

Lady 2 to lady 1: Do one thing.  Put a black dot on the mirror and look at it for few mins, u will feel relaxed, then with a calm mind u can decide.

The scene continued for few minutes.

Then they sigh and leave.

I felt this is the new trend everywhere, parents are so tensed about their kids education, what they study, what they score, tutions etc etc ??

So much of stress..

It was not like this before  atleast not in my house and many houses i knew.. All our parents knew was the school name and the class we studied in ( cant expect dads to know the section ). We went and enquired about the tutions if we wanted to join .We decided to which colleges we applied for PUC. We went and got the admission done.

The choices were ours. Ofcourse they guided us but they let us take decisions or atleast involved us in decision making.

I think its very important that we involve our kids in decision making or atleast take their opinions into account. It brings a sense of confidence , ability to face and handle situations and take responsibility of the decisions.

But remember if u do it just for the sake of it , they will figure it out soon. Trust me they are far more smarter than us.

I am sure we all think , we will not interfere after 10th, then +2 , then professional course and the branch..we keep deciding and it becomes an habit. By that time, they become dependent.

I am sure all of us have good concerns and intentions both in mind and heart ,but believe me it will alter the thought process of kids.

What i have seen and experienced is, all these marks really dont matter much at all. I have seen toppers fail in life, and the mediocores raise and be the boss.

We definitely need to show them the doors, guide them, encourage and boost them, rarely may have to push them too.

But lets not forget there are other things as well which really count more.

Its ultimately how u deal with circumstances, how u can use the opportunity in front of u, how much risk u are ready to take is all that matters.

If we equip our kids with these, i think sky will be the limit.

Lets make them better people who can cope with reality and live a life of their own.

PS : I put that scenerio here only because thats what started my thought process, rather scared me. Will i too fall into this mass/ herd mentality ?? Will i have to take so much stress ,which i didnt take, even when i did my post graduation? Will this competitive world ask  me to sacrifice my mental peace??

I am not trying to judge anybody or make assumptions because all parents want the best for their kids.

But are we going too far??

However only time can answer these questions

Hope all kids get all that they deserve..

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Baby wearing – are u doing it the right way? Good news from medical world

Life changes ,literally changes when u become a mom . All that life of a carefree woman vanishes all of sudden and then u sit there breastfeeding the little one for hours together, praying god to grant that little nap u haven’t had in days or months like in my case.

It was a time when i preferred staying home than carry him around along with the baggage  rather luggage. But today i see so many moms with all that baby wearing slings , harnasses happily walking around. I am jealous. Y did i not know this?? No i belong to the same era as u smart moms. maybe i was drowned in my books or just ignorant.

The mobility baby wearing gives.. is such a relief. Believe me.

However thats not the reason of this blog.

When i saw so many people embracing so many  baby carrying accessories , I remembered reading during my MBBS about baby carrying and a pediatric hip condition (DDH). But i was not very sure about the relationship. So did some searching and this is what i found.

This is to introduce all you moms to be and new moms to something called developmental  dysplasia of hip (DDH).I will try my best to keep it simple.

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This is a simple diagram showing the hip joint. It is a ball and socket joint.

DDH is a condition in which the surfaces ( ball and socket) which form the hip joint become loose and can lead to improper development of joint. The infants in first few months are more vulnerable due to their natural flexibility and also the joint surfaces are partially soft yet.

So the main aim is to position the baby such that the ball remains in socket , so that socket develops normally and fully.

The first born child, the female child , the child born with breech presentation, or positive family history have more chances of DDH.

And u know how our moms used to carry us ( in India and few other countries ), yes on their hips , with us clinging on to them.Thank them for the same, that positioning reduces the chances of DDH.

The safe position is when the hips fall apart to the side with hips and knees bent.

The unhealthy position/increased risk is  is where the hips and knees are straight and both legs kept together.

With all the baby wearing slings, baby harnesses and car seats which we are using today  , the child is bound to spend some time in there. So we should carefully position the baby during such times.

The recommended position for baby wearing is called spread squat position/ M position / Jockey position – where thigh is spread around the mothers body, thigh supported, hips flexed ( bent ) and knee slightly above /at the level of hips.

It is also important to look for size of carriers and the baby for proper positioning of baby. 

It is simple once u are familiarised but just keep an eye if u are new to parenting.

So when u carry the baby ,check for this ,

  1. hips are spread out
  2. the hips and knees are bent
  3. thigh is supported

Here are some of the illustrations from International hip dysplasia Institute which gives a guidance

CAR SEATS

   NOT RECOMMENDED

carseat-07-v2

Not recommended

BETTER

carseat-08-v2-better

Better

Here the car seat in first image is not recommended because of restricted leg movement whereas the second one is better.

 

 

BABY HARNESS

              NOT RECOMMENDED

all_carriers

not recommended

BETTER

harness_onmom-679x1024-better

Better

Here again the first baby harness is not recommended as the thigh is not supported and leg is straight , whereas second one is better where the thigh is supported, hips are apart, hip and knee bent.

 

BABY SLINGS

                     NOT RECOMMENDED

sling-01-v2-not-rec

Not recommended

BETTER

sling-02-v2-better

Better

Again here , first one is not recommended whereas second one is better.

Infact there are few studies showing that proper baby wearing may reduce the incidence of DDH.

Ofcourse i have touched upon very specific part of baby wearing. There maybe so many other considerations you need to make such as back support, baby safety, buckle grip etc.

There are so many experts out there and i am sure they can guide you.

Hope this is of help to u.

Happy parenting.

And for those of u who want to read the entire guidance from the International hip dysplasia Institute , the link is here